Masculinity: what is it?

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This is the question that I asked myself after experiencing many episodes of anxiety. I realised that when I was growing up I didn't had anyone to look up to: an exemplary man, a father, an authority figure. Most of the men around me when I was little had various addictions and other problems. As a kid I used to ask myself why men are superior to women and why women should always do as told. Why those who look different, who had different opinions or different identity were called names?

 

Seeing it all Ideveloped a fear of masculinity. I rejected everything related to toxic masculinity. I was afraid to become one of them. For quite a while I am thinking if boys and men don't really cry, if masculinity means hiding in a mancave, having a muscular body, sharing womanizer stories or excessive drinking. All those thoughts and ideas are important for my creative work: I am looking for new and modern angles of masculinity.